After 31 days of blogging, I'm not sure if I am more sane than I was in September. I have struggled with much. I have learned a lot and have much to learn. The last topic I dare to address is something that will take me a while to learn. Saying no... As a recovering "good girl," I have spent my entire life, saying "yes." If someone needed help with a project, they could count on me. If someone needed to drop off their children for an appointment, they would call me. If someone had a baby or a family member who was sick, I felt obligated to bring a meal because I couldn't be sure that others would. It all depended on me. Right?
All of these needs and acts of service are good, but not always necessarily my responsibility. Being a youth pastor's wife, I have felt since the beginning that I needed to help with every meal or youth function. Before children, this was possible and enjoyable. But with each addition of a child, I have also added another layer of guilt over not being to help or be involved in my husband's ministry. Notice that I said, "I" added the guilt. My amazing husband has never pressured me to do more. In fact, he has done more of the opposite. He encourages me to stay home, to let others who are in a different season of life take the responsibility when I can't, and he shows such sweet appreciate for just "taking care of the girls."
All of this to say, I hope to say "yes" to only the things that God has called me to do in this exact season that I am in. As Solomon writes in Ecclesiastes 3,
There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens:
a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.