Looking back...

With each new year, we look forward to the one ahead, full of the unknown, full of hope.  Yet I think in order to fully embrace the year ahead, we have to look back first.  In looking back, we can see the areas that flourished and those that need some extra attention.  I spent the last few days of 2016 answering these questions.  I was convicted, challenged, and honestly, a little depressed by the answers I gave.  

Last year was my year of survival.  On the outside, those around me may not have seen anything amiss. Yet inside, the struggles were some of the most difficult I have ever endured.  God is gracious and as this new year rolls in, I am more clearly seeing His hand as He holds me up when I can't.  I praise God for my husband who is my constant comfort when my emotions come crashing down.  I am daily thankful for my girls who are more than I deserve.  So I say all this to reiterate what I've tried to say in the past, my life is not perfect.  I have struggles just like everyone else.

So what does this next year have to hold?  Rest.

I pray for rest in my home, in my marriage, in our daily school life, and most of all, in my soul.  Over the last few weeks of January, I hope to share more of what I pray this rest will look like, but for now, this is what I pray...

I pray for slow mornings centered on God's Word, sprinkled with time in good books, music, and art.  I pray that I'm not producing little Pharisees in my girls, but sisters in Christ who desire to know God more and learn with ferocious appetites.

I pray this beautiful new room (built by my wonderful husband) will be a haven over this next year, a place of retreat to dive into our studies, and focus on the calling God has placed on our family.

 

I pray for more time with this man of mine.  Whether it's a quick date out or some quality moments at home, I pray that our marriage will only grow stronger.

I pray for more time at home around nourishing meals, time to cook with girls.

I pray for rest in the great outdoors, for time spent in our favorite books, laughter on our new zipline, and lots of marshmallows roasted around the fire pit.

 

I pray for new adventures with these people I call mine. They bring such joy.  May I too find such joy as I once had.

Last, but not least, I pray for daily rest in God's word.  I pray for the strength to get up, to find a place of quiet retreat, and for God to do a new work in my life.  

Overwhelmed!

Overwhelmed... I remember repeating that word over and over before and after we moved last year.  The song, Overwhelmed, by Big Daddy Weave played on repeat in my mind.  I was overwhelmed in many ways.  We moved again after a long and hard season in our life.  We had said many goodbyes, felt alone at times, and simply exhausted.  Yet, God was still faithful.  Our church graciously gave us a week away at the beach and it was the most restful week we've ever had.  

A year later that same word fills my head again.  

Overwhelmed... 

Webster defines it as "to affect someone very strongly." Marty and I are overwhelmed with gratitude for our church family.  October is "pastor appreciation" month, and while we already feel appreciated by our church, they have gone over and above to express it to us and our senior pastor's family. We are overwhelmed, undeserved, and humbled by it all!  

What I've Learned This Summer

It is simply hard to believe that it's already August!  I knew this summer would fly by, but now that we're on the count down to school, the reality is hitting me.  I've spent a lot of time reflecting, processing life in general, and looking ahead, seeing a new season with the middle school years approaching.

Blogger and writer Emily Freeman, from Chatting at the Sky, blogs at the end of each month different and often random things she's learned.  Since I fell off the "goal" bandwagon for a while and didn't even get our summer desires blogged, I thought I'd share a few things I've learned over the summer.

1.  Charleston is an amazing city!  We've loved visiting it for over ten years now, but this was the first time I've stayed there alone with my girls (since Marty was in North Charleston at camp). I literally drove past the church affected by the shooting rampage only thirty minutes before the shots were fired.  Fear, questions, apprehension immediately filled my mind after hearing about it. But to watch the city continue to move with such grace and love was a testimony to the many churches and the people within that city.  I learned a lot in those few days.

2.  Blueberries always taste better straight from the bush.  While Chloe and I continued to pick that hot Saturday morning, my younger two literally sat under the bushes and ate to their hearts content.

3.  My baby is growing up!  I know I didn't learn this over the summer, but it's becoming even more real as she's learning to swim and ride a bike without training wheels.  Shhh!  Don't remind me that she's almost ready for kindergarten.  Thank goodness I finally finished her baby book!

4.  Even though it's easier now that our girls are older, I learned that I still really miss my hubbie when he's gone on mission trips.  I just really like having him around! 

5.  Having a dog can really cramp my traveling style!  This was our first summer having Samson (whom we love very much!), but it's tough when you want to travel and you have to make pet arrangements.  Oh well!  First world problems!

6.  Focus on the blessings, rather than succumbing to the loneliness. This is an area that God is still teaching me.  There will always be a measure of loneliness in ministry, but I felt it more than ever when Marty left on July 4th.  Family being so far away and memories flooding back from the previous summer with my sisters and their families brought me to tears more than once.  But my girls can make any day interesting and we embraced the sprinkler and the sparklers, making the day memorable in our own way.

7.  Family is important and worth the effort.  Since Samson cramped my traveling style, we enjoyed #campcousins week instead!  My sister graciously took my girls for a few days.  Then, we enjoyed a day at the zoo, and a few more days with them at our house.  It was a fun full week!

8.  I "need" inspiration!  I love a good pen, a comfortable notebook, the perfect lighting, clean surroundings.  I think it's why I love Instagram so much!  The pictures, colors, inspiring words fill me up.

9.  The show, When Calls the Heart, on Netflix took me back to my teenage years.  That same, "I've just got to read one more chapter..." feeling consumed me, but in the form of Netflix.  I watched show after show while exercising on the elliptical, folding laundry, cooking supper... until the last show, and I didn't know it was the last show!  So I have now learned that when watching a series on Netflix or Amazon Prime, look and see how many episodes there are before diving in headlong, fully engrossed in the flowing plot, only to discover you just watched the last one!

10.  It is important to label homemade sprays.  Otherwise your daughters may mistaken your cellulite spray for bug repellent.

Why Travel?.

The smell of diesel... memories of the bus ride from the terminal to the plane.  The feel of the wind as we rode the ferry across the bay every trip to boarding school.  The tightness of being squeezed like a sardine riding the train to and from school with my little sister.  So many of my memories relate to travel...  For me, it's in my blood. My entire life has revolved around traveling. Born in Texas, my parents brought me back to North Carolina as a two week old.  At two years of age, I traveled with my parents to Singapore where they were in missionary training before continuing on to Sapporo, Japan.  Planes, ferries, trains, buses, taxis were all common modes of transportation for me and my sisters growing up.  For a few years, I commuted to boarding school by airplane, flying as junior pilots (as our little pendant said) with my fellow MK friends back and forth from the Tokyo area to the northern island where our school was located.  In middle school, my friends and I commuted by train to our weekly boarding school in Tokyo.  

It's in my blood.  The thrill of the hustle and bustle of airports. The smells.  The people.  Maybe that's why I want to share the country of my childhood with my children.  To see this amazing land through their eyes, to experience the food and smells with them, and to embrace the adventure of traveling once again. 

Why now?

If we don't go now, the opportunity may never present itself again. Our girls are at the perfect age to travel.  They are still young enough that everything will be eye opening and thrilling, yet old enough to walk decent distances without need of strollers.  I pray they will remember this trip for the rest of their lives.  

Yes, it is costing us an arm and leg, and we pray daily that our vehicles will survive another year.  But we know that God will provide as He has already shown over the past few months.  Sweet friends and family have given sacrificially, and to watch our girls put such effort in selling their sea glass creations (from Okinawa) and cake pops & lemonade to help supplement the cost of travel has been so humbling. They have put every penny in our Japan fund. Never once have they asked to keep it for themselves or use it for spending money.  

"To travel is to discover profound things and learn about yourself in the world; what a joy to give children that experience while they're still under their parents' roof.  It takes money, time, and planning, but so does most everything in life.  Traveling with kids is so very worth the effort." - Tsh Oxenreider, Notes from a Blue Bike

I will not pretend to say this is primarily a mission trip.  The bulk of our trip is funded by our tax refund money.  But I do pray that God will do a work in all of our hearts while on this trip.  I pray over those we will be sitting next to on each flight. I pray that God will open the eyes of our girls to a world full of amazing things and to instill in them a passion to reach out to those who are hurting and without hope.  I pray for strength for each of us as the traveling will not be easy.  But now that passports have arrived and tickets have been reserved, we are eager to embark on this exciting adventure!

Halfway Goals for January...

It's almost the middle of January, which may seem too late to set goals for the month.  But better late than never...  Laying out goals often seems like I'm setting myself up for failure, which may be true to some degree.  But in writing them down, there comes a form of accountability and a challenge to complete something, anything!  So these goals are nothing spectacular, just simply areas of my life that I hope to tweak throughout the year.

January Goals

1.  Try and implement a new daily schedule (not exactly sure the details yet...)

2.  Finish The Best Yes and read more of Notes from a Blue Bike (working on my "words")

3.  Fill out the paperwork and get pictures taken for passports (#operationokinawa - more info to come)

4.  Declutter our storage area (I must purge!! Girl clothes, school stuff, etc overflow from every crevice of our home. Starting with the storage area this month.)

5.  Order a photobook of 2014 Instagram photos. (I took more pictures with my phone this year and it's the everyday pictures that I cherish the most.  I'll share how it turned out.)

6.  Love the people in my life and show it through my words (an ongoing goal...)

"Now is the blessing.

Now is the time to love.

Now is the time to be."

by Eileen Spinelli in Now It is Winter

Saying Good-bye Again...

It's been over a week since we said good-bye to my sister, Joy and her family.  It feels like so much longer though.  I'm sure even more so for them as their lives have changed in such an enormous way. All my life I have said good-byes.  It doesn't get easier.  

We had the most precious week with Ryan, Joy, and their boys before they left for Ghana, West Africa.  These pictures are for them and for our mama and dad who would have given anything to be here to send them off.  Be prepared for a plethora...

So thankful for the time on Labor day with cousins, aunts, uncles, and my grandparents.  The beginning of family good-byes...

A day at Pullen Park, time at our pool, snuggles in the morning, squeezing close over the Ipad or books, dressing up, attending Naomi's first soccer game together are just a few of the memories etched in my heart.  

 

Grateful that my youngest sister, Kristi and her family, as well as Ryan's parents were able to spend that last weekend with us.  Simple meals of hot dogs and baked potatoes made it special and stress free.  But my tears didn't flow until Monday morning when we were able to Facetime with our parents.  Listening to my daddy pray on the other side of the world over this sweet family about to embark on the greatest mission of their lives was one of the most precious parts of that day. 

Ryan and Joy are a special couple. How thankful we were when they met in college with the same fervency for missions and the desire to be like Christ in every way possible.  They are loved and truly missed!  

My heart was full to have both of my sisters and their families together as we said our good-byes.  Family is a precious thing, something that in general, Americans take for granted.  Even if family lives in another part of the US, the option is still there to visit; a phone call is second nature, and email or Facetime can be typed out on our phones.  Our family does not have these luxuries.  I can email or Facebook message my parents and sister, but then I wait.  I can't call and certainly can't visit on a whim.  But I say all this not for pity, but to encourage anyone who may be reading this to love your family! Don't see visits as a burden.  Answer a parent's or grandparent's phone call whenever possible.  Hold your babies tight as you never know where God may call them to go and serve in the future.  

Thank you for praying for Ryan, Joy, and their sweet boys. There is nothing easy about life in Africa, but I can't wait to get to heaven and meet all the Ghanaians who will be eternally impacted because this couple said "yes" to God's call.  

To read my parents story, click here.