Thursday, July 23, 2015
You never realize till you're in the middle of it all how amazing and yet painful, being a mother can be. When you hear another child tell yours she's stupid, that her reading is terrible, your heart hurts so badly and you just want to take it all away and reassure her how special she is.
You read of other mothers on the other side of the world whose daughters, the ages of my girls, are being taken from them and made into slaves, forced to do horrifying things. It hurts...
A mama is told her sweet baby, born from another mother, will be taken back to his family. Months of sleepless nights and precious smiles... It hurts.
Month after month the answer is no. You know you should be thankful, and you are, for those beautiful children God has already blessed you with. But when there still seems to be one missing and you long for just one more baby to hold in your arms, it hurts...
"Even if we dreamed of having babies of our own, there is nothing that prepares us for the way that moment cracks open our hearts and pours in the type of pure love we never knew existed. A love that isn't about us but is just about wanting to love and protect this little, helpless person who will emit all manner of bodily fluids on us if given half the chance. You can't fathom it until you experience it." - Melanie Shankle from Sparkly Green Earrings
I've prayed this over my high school girls Sunday School class in the past, over my sister leaving for Africa, and constantly over my own girls...
"For this reason, since the day we heard about you, we having not stopped praying for you. and asking God to fill you with the knowledge of His will through all spiritual wisdom and understanding. And we pray this in order that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and may please Him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God, being strengthened with all power according to His glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, and joyfully giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in the kingdom of light."
Being a mother is the hardest job I've ever had and I don't see it getting any easier, but I'm so glad that I'm not walking this journey alone. God has blessed me with the most amazing husband, who encourages and comforts me. God has given me a mother who has not only been the perfect example to follow, but also a friend to walk alongside me, even if she's on the other side of the world. God has given me three precious girls who show continual grace and forgiveness for their mama who lets them down again and again. But most of all, God has given me and continues to pour out Himself. When I am weak, He is strong.