When Your Baby is no Longer a Baby...

I write this a week after my littlest's 6th birthday.  With each new season, I give up a past one.  A few years ago, I no longer had toddlers, then the preschool years were gone, and now as she turns 6, my baby is no longer a baby and my heart hurts.  

I write this with less raw and much more peace.  When we first started our little family almost twelve years ago, I thought we would have four children (all boys!) and even after my third little girl was born, I constantly had this feeling that someone was still missing. But God has not allowed us to have another one and for years, it has left an ache within me. Month after month of "no." Yet, how can I complain with three beautiful, healthy children?  I must daily choose joy and count His blessings.  How blessed I am!

So I write this as a tribute to my baby who will always be my baby and to other mamas out there who may struggle too.

To the mama who has yet to hold her first baby...

The desire is so strong, so consuming.  Don't stop holding on to hope and to His promises.  Remember the man beside you may be hurting too.  Let nothing cause a wedge to come between you. When the words and pictures of others hurt, try to remember it's not their intent to rub it in, they simply don't know, nor understand.  I can say this because I once was one of them and may still fall short.

To the new mama...

I know it's tough, it's lonely at times, and you think this season will never end.  I know you're tired of hearing the wiser ones tell you to cling to the moments, that the days are long and the years are short. It's true.  But my advice is to see that baby you hold in your arms, the one that wakes you countless times in the night, that exhausts you beyond anything you could have imagined... see that little one as your first blessing and possibly your last.  Don't just assume you'll have another baby and you can enjoy cuddles more with the next one.  Savor every moment you can.  

To the mama of preschoolers...

They will learn it all eventually.  Every color will become its own one day and not always blue.  The ABC's and 123's will sound less jibberish and they will graduate from kindergarten without pacifiers.  Let them play, really play!  Read good books, even when there is laundry to fold and dishes to wash.  They'll one day stop asking and that to-do list won't seem as important.  

To mamas like me!

Let's give some grace.  Let's encourage each other when we are discouraged.  Let's stop competing and start completing each other. Let's find ways to be inspired and challenged (especially in God's Word), but not at the expense of our families.  Let's look for the fringe hours to fill up our tanks so the primary hours of our day can overflow with goodness to those we love and are surrounded by.

To the mamas with children all grown up & to women who are like mothers to us...

You are so important!  Us mamas in the thick of motherhood still need you.  We need your wisdom and your advice, even if you think we have it all together.  Google and YouTube can't teach us everything.  How blessed I am to have a mother who continually invests in the lives of me and my sisters!  But there are many who still need such motherly figures to speak the truth in love. 

To all the mamas...

Take notice of the little things.  Count the freckles and capture the quiet moments in your mind (and on camera), so you'll remember them when life seems chaotic.  Praise that man of yours every single time he steps up and leads your family as God has called him to do.  And if he doesn't, then just keep on praying.  

"If I cannot give my children a perfect mother I can at least give them more of the one they've got - and make that one more loving. I will be available.  I will take time to listen, time to play, time to be home, and time to counsel and encourage." - Ruth Bell Graham

What happens after Easter...

Now that Easter has past, what happens now?  We remembered His death, so amazing, so sacrificial. Those crosses still sit on our kitchen table.  I'm afraid to take them down for fear I'll forget...  for fear that life will go on and that amazing grace will seem lost.  Sometimes the colors of the world stand out bold and clear while the cross and the tomb that could not hold Him seem dim in the background.

May our children remember that it's more than a story.  It's our reason for living.  It's the daily dying to self so that His glory may be proclaimed.  For us as mothers & fathers, "we look to Jesus not only as our example; we also see that He is our power to love God and our children.  Because Christ has done for us what we could never do for ourselves, with His power we can ask forgiveness of our children when we sin against them, because God in Christ has forgiven us." - Gloria Furman

Let the light never fade.  May we teach our families daily to "love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength... impress them on your children... talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up." All day, every day, everywhere! (Deuteronomy 6:5-7)

Treasure the blessings God has given us!  "Because of the gospel, we can rejoice as we find our hands full of blessings in Jesus, because all we know is grace." - G. Furman

Hold tight to family, yet be willing to let them go.  Savor every moment, every holiday, every phone call, and every picture-taking moment.

 

"Let the rest of folks go ahead and pack up their Easter decorations and turn the calendar page over and they can roll up the banners and swags but there's this Resurrection People who aren't going back to before and we refuse to live like that stone's been rolled back.  

He is alive and He is risen and I'm going to keep that on the chalkboard and keep saying it over the burnt pots and the overflowing sinks and I'm going to keep singing it like a refrain:  He is Risen Indeed - because I want Him to be risen in me." - Ann Voskamp

Day 25 - A Missional Mindset

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Our kitchen world map is one of my favorite spots in our home. The map itself was given to us from friends and Marty added the framework to give it just the right touch to our wall. The three clocks above it coincide with the three push pins in the map.  The first push pin literally covers the entire country of Lesotho, Africa.  I did not even know that this country existed until some of our college friends moved there from Ecuador as missionaries.  The second pin helps us to pray for our friends in East Asia.  As they work in a country that is known for persecuting Christians, we can look at that clock and pray for their ministry there.  The third pin is one that is near and dear to us, the island of Okinawa, Japan.  I pray we'll be able to visit Okinawa with our girls in the next few years, since my parents will be returning there within a month and half. The girls are already excited about visiting (even if it's three years away).  We need to add another pin soon as my sister and her family will be traveling as well within the year to Ghana, Africa.

My point in sharing our map is to emphasize the importance of giving our children (homeschool or not) a missional mindset.  It's been amazing to walk alongside my girls as we pray and support some of these missionaries.  Having grown up on the mission field, I have been blessed by the encouragement of those who could not go.  

A few ideas of guiding your children to have a missional mindset:

• support missionaries (read their letters to your children, show them where they live on a world map, send gifts when possible)
• take missionaries out to eat when they are home in the States
• read missionary biographies together or put readable books in their hands (My favorites growing up were Hudson Taylor and Amy Carmichael)
• Our favorite books right now:  Trailblazer books (fictional stories based on real missionaries and martyrs), You Can Change the World by OM (devotional type book), Window on the World (how to pray for countries around the world)
• get involved in a local church that has a heart for missions (We are blessed to be a part of such a church.  The children learn about missions each Wednesday night, but also get opportunities to be involved in local missions through Raleigh Rescue Mission and With Love From Jesus.)    

There are so many more wonderful resources and other ideas as well.  Feel free to share in the comments as I'd love to learn more.  It is so important for all of us parents to remember not to get lost in the activities, books, and the "doing good" part, but get to the heart of the matter, that these people need Jesus.  Just as Jesus loves my girls and died for them, He also loves the people of Lesotho and Okinawa.  But we need to pray the He'll send missionaries, that Bibles will be printed in their languages, and to be willing to go if He calls.  

Growing into a young lady...

My dearest Chloe, 

You amaze me more and more every day.  Your beauty shines not only on the outside, but even more so from within.  You are compassionate and thoughtful.  You are an incredible big sister, even when you may not feel like it.  It's been exciting and scary (for me) to watch you grow up so much over the past year.  I love you so much, Chloe!  May your passion for reading point you daily to His Word.  May your excitement for living be contagious to those around you, that they too may find eternal life in Jesus.  May your determination and steadfast spirit lead you on an amazing path for Him.  Happy Birthday, Chloe!

Love always,

Mommy

Rest for the Weary...

We all need rest.  We all need time away, whether it's at a fancy hotel or within the quiet walls of our own bathroom.  As a mother to my three precious girls, whom I am with all day every day, I needed rest.  How blessed I was to receive such a gift this past weekend!  

Tara and I met over nine years ago on little Danritch Drive in Richfield, North Carolina.  We immediately shared a bond as sisters in Christ, but within the year became first time mothers to our sweet little girls.  We took many walks together down that single street to the cow pastures and back to the highway.  We shared lunches in each others homes, learning simple recipes, and trying to figure this whole mothering thing out. During that year, she shared with me a book that has encouraged me time and time again.  Mission of Motherhood by Sally Clarkson was the first of many inspiring books that has revitalized me to be the mother God desires me to be.  

Nine years later, Tara and I have both moved away, had more babies, endured struggles, yet by God's grace, have continued on in our desire to train and guide our children within the walls of our homes.  It is only by His grace! (and the support of our wonderful husbands!)  

Hearing one of our mentors, Sally Clarkson, was truly a treat this weekend!  By Saturday afternoon, I felt as though a high-powered fire hose of wisdom had been sprayed at me, unable to really take it all in. We were encouraged to discover the values of heartfelt discipline, to raise our children in grace and truth, to look for the beauty in the midst of chaos, to wake up to this awesome calling of being mothers, to plant the seeds of our children and not just throw them into the wind, and the notes go on and on.

Coming home, I felt exhausted, yet rejuvenated.  There were no feelings of guilt or changing the game plan of parenting.  I only felt encouragement and the renewed desire to keep on going.  Obviously, the weekend shed light on areas in need of improvement, but through the guidance of the Holy Spirit and many godly women, it also gave specific ways to fulfill these challenging areas.  I would highly recommend going to a Mom Heart Conference if the opportunity arises.  But if that's not possible, then somehow retreat and take some time to be still before our Lord for He, and only He can truly give rest to the soul.

Books to live by...

There are days when my biggest accomplishments consist of painstakingly teaching my oldest the in’s & out’s of division, trying to stay awake while my kindergartener slowly reads to me, putting up the last (finally!!!) of the Christmas decorations (with three little girls help), and cleaning out rabbit poop in the dark.  Life changing…  But today, the division problems won’t seem so hard, listening to my struggling reader will be a blessing, and the rabbit can handle a day off from poop patrol. 

As I still seek rest and a sense of peace in this new year, I’m finding the need to retreat, to back away from the busyness of life.  Obviously, as a mother, this seems impossible.  After taking several weeks off from my weekly retreat, I’m making that a priority again (with my wonderful husband’s help).  Taking a break from Facebook, even if it’s just for a week, also seems appropriate at this point in my year.  But one area that I hope to really change is replacing my television time with more reading.  As a home-school mom, I read throughout the day.  Our current read-a-loud is Johnny Tremain by Esther Forbes.  My sweet husband took an instagram of me reading it the other night after supper.  Even though I look bored out of my mind reading it, it truly is a fabulous book! 

Last year, I had hoped to read a book a month.  As easy as that sounded, it didn’t happen.  I’m still reading Grace for the Good Girl that I mentioned in October.  Great book, but other things have become more of a important.  But the television is going downstairs to our playroom today, and I pray that reading will become more of a priority and rest will come through it. 

Here is my (hopeful!) book list for 2013.   

• Raising Your Kids to Love the Lord by Dave Stone
• Keep a Quiet Heart by Elisabeth Elliot
• Desperate:  Hope for the Mom Who Needs to Breathe by Sarah Mae & Sally Clarkson
• Unglued by Lysa TerKeurst
• The Hobbit by JR Tolkien
• Discipline:  The Glad Surrender by Elisabeth Elliot
• What Alice Forgot by Liane Moriarty
• The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin
• Parenting with Love & Logic by Foster Cline & Jim Fay
• Simplicity Parenting by Kim John Payne
• The Power of Words & the Wonder of God by John Piper & Justin Taylor
• Sacred Influence:  How God Uses Wives to Shape the Souls of Their Husbands by Gary Thomas
• Graceful: (For Young Women) Letting Go of Your Try Hard Life by Emily Freeman
•  Mitten Strings for God: Reflections for Mothers in a Hurry by Katrina Kenison
• Let it Go by Karen Ehman
• Helper by Design by Elyse Fitzpatrick

I will most likely not read all of these, but I’d love to try.  Obviously, many of these revolve around parenting and motherhood because that is my life.  It is my season of life for which I am grateful.  I want to add a few more books on marriage which is an even greater priority for me than parenting.  I’d love to hear of other books that you were encouraged by last year or hope to read in the coming one.