Hope for the Homeschool Mom

More days than not, I look back on the day and only see my failures, I see the layer of dust, the clothes that should have been washed, the promised tea party or science experiment unfulfilled and the burden lays heavy.

Facebook can add to the guilt; Instagram inspires, but often makes me long for more, more of what?  Both distract me more than I want to admit.  Fil Anderson says we are surrounded by "weapons of mass distraction."  So true!

So often, I can throw myself into a pit of despair because I can't measure up to the imaginary moms who "homeschool and workout and bake and run triathlons and have clean houses and have business' and read their kids 18 books a week and crochet all the things... the list could go on." (Rachel Reeves)

"Comparison is the thief of joy."  It's the pep talk I give to my girls, yet why do I fall prey to it on a daily basis, if not hourly.  Let's encourage each other, remembering that each of our families are different with various interests, an assortment of talents, and a quirky uniqueness to each family unit.  Fellow homeschool mom, Toni Weber says, "You know and love your children better than anyone else.  Tailor their schoolwork to reflect their interests and learning styles as well as your teaching style.  You and your children will be much happier marching to the beat of your own drum than copying someone else."

So I say all this to not discourage, but to hopefully, encourage you homeschool moms (and anyone else who is reading this).  Hang in there!  Focus on the calling that God has given to you and your family.  Find joy in every single little success, whether it's a completed spelling lesson or a math test without tears.  Put aside the textbooks at times and rekindle the joy found in learning.  

It's February.  The time of year when we get tired of plugging through multiplication facts, repeating the definitions of nouns and pronouns, and the weather can't decide if it's still winter or spring. Grab on to this hope and hold on determining to finish the year well.

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you and learn from me for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." Matthew 11:28-30

Get outside whenever possible.  Sidewalk chalk can be the perfect notetaking opportunity.  Spelling, nature journaling, simple playtime.  I've always heard that boredom breeds trouble, which is often true.  But when given freedom outside, I believe that boredom breeds creativity.  Put away the technology and let their imaginations run loose!

Homeschool away from home every once in a while.  As much as I love our new homeschool room, we all need a change of scenery sometimes.  We have some great coffee shops, bakeries, and libraries that are perfect for making our day a little sweeter.

Lastly, as we see brokenness all around us, the world seems heavy and it causes me to cling tighter to my girls.  "There is an evil whisper suggesting that I should feel hopeless, helpless, powerless and defeated.  But I am not without hope, help, power or victory.  I know where to lift my eyes.  As I look about my home today I am thankful for the ones placed in my care and for the labor before me. What the world may look upon as an insignificant day, is in fact, one drop in a tidal wave of powerful love.  I am not just preparing meals, washing laundry, reading books, wiping noses, cleaning toilets, sweeping dust - I am effecting world change within the walls of my home." - Elsie @farmhouseschoolhouse  Amen!

When being a mama hurts...

You never realize till you're in the middle of it all how amazing and yet painful, being a mother can be.  When you hear another child tell yours she's stupid, that her reading is terrible, your heart hurts so badly and you just want to take it all away and reassure her how special she is.  

You read of other mothers on the other side of the world whose daughters, the ages of my girls, are being taken from them and made into slaves, forced to do horrifying things.  It hurts...  

A mama is told her sweet baby, born from another mother, will be taken back to his family.  Months of sleepless nights and precious smiles...  It hurts.  

Month after month the answer is no. You know you should be thankful, and you are, for those beautiful children God has already blessed you with.  But when there still seems to be one missing and you long for just one more baby to hold in your arms, it hurts...

"Even if we dreamed of having babies of our own, there is nothing that prepares us for the way that moment cracks open our hearts and pours in the type of pure love we never knew existed.  A love that isn't about us but is just about wanting to love and protect this little, helpless person who will emit all manner of bodily fluids on us if given half the chance.  You can't fathom it until you experience it." - Melanie Shankle from Sparkly Green Earrings

I've prayed this over my high school girls Sunday School class in the past, over my sister leaving for Africa, and constantly over my own girls...

"For this reason, since the day we heard about you, we having not stopped praying for you. and asking God to fill you with the knowledge of His will through all spiritual wisdom and understanding.  And we pray this in order that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and may please Him in every way:  bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God, being strengthened with all power according to His glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, and joyfully giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in the kingdom of light."  
Colossians 1:9-12

Being a mother is the hardest job I've ever had and I don't see it getting any easier, but I'm so glad that I'm not walking this journey alone.  God has blessed me with the most amazing husband, who encourages and comforts me.  God has given me a mother who has not only been the perfect example to follow, but also a friend to walk alongside me, even if she's on the other side of the world. God has given me three precious girls who show continual grace and forgiveness for their mama who lets them down again and again. But most of all, God has given me and continues to pour out Himself.  When I am weak, He is strong.  

Every Hour...

I truly am a messed up mama in need of my Savior's grace day after day, moment by moment.  I throw the mean look to the hubs in the middle of dinner, and once again forget to pay the electricity bill (the only bill I'm in charge of!).  Earlier in the day, words to my girls cut like the dirty knives sitting in the sink waiting to be washed... again! 

Kind words, where are you?  Proverbs 3:3 is supposed to be ingrained on the brain, "Do not let kindness and truth leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart."  How I wish they were bound around my neck...

I desire to encourage, not discourage...

Yet in my own strength, I can do nothing.  That's what Jesus said in John 15:5, "Apart from me you can do nothing."  There is such freedom in that!

I read a devotional by SheReadsTruth a few weeks ago that gave the background to one of my favorite hymns and the comfort it brought was astounding.  In 1872, Annie Hawks, a wife and mother around my age, said, "I was busy with my regular household tasks when suddenly I became so filled with the sense of nearness to the Master that, wondering how one could live without Him, either in joy or pain, these words, 'I Need Thee Every Hour,' were ushered into my mind, the thought at once taking full possession of me."

She then penned these words:

I need Thee every hour, most gracious Lord;

No tender voice like Thine can peace afford.

I need Thee, O I need Thee; 

Every hour I need Thee; 

O bless me now, my Savior,

I come to Thee. 

I need Thee every hour, stay Thou nearby;

Temptations lose their power when Thou art nigh.

I need Thee every hour, in joy or pain;

Come quickly and abide, or life is in vain.

I need Thee every hour; teach me Thy will;

And Thy rich promises in me fulfill.

I need Thee every hour, most Holy One;

O make me Thine indeed, Thou blessed Son.

I need Thee, O I need Thee; 

Every hour I need Thee; 

O bless me now, my Savior,

I come to Thee. 

I need You every hour, Lord, to honor and affirm the husband You have blessed me with; to fulfill the divine calling You have given me in Ephesians 5; to love and respect him without wavering; to walk beside him in the calling You have given us.

I need You every hour as I spend day after day with these amazing girls You have blessed us with.  I need Your wisdom to train them to be godly women.  I need Your grace when I mess up again and again.  I need Your strength when all the little frustrations roll into something bigger than I can handle. But then again, may it remind me that I need you every single hour, that I can't do it in my own strength.   

"There is grace that will seep into all the cracks and pained places when we don't understand.  In the places when we don't understand, we get to seek.  And how lovely is one seeking truth." - written by Kara Tippetts, a woman who lived these words to the very end, who clung to our Lord in an unbelievable way, and fully understood what it means to say, "Every hour I need Thee."

The Stained Index Cards...

Ten years ago, one of my sisters gave me a small index card book, full of verses of scripture.  It had a hand sewn cover to soften the generic outside, and to protect the corners from getting bent.  I remember this little book of God's words lodged carefully beside the cup holder on my baby's stroller as we would take daily walks, partly for the fresh air and exercise and the other part for the sake of my sanity.  I committed several pages to heart, but now three babies later, daily walks are rare and when they do occur, they are filled with sweet girly chatter.

Now, there are stains on every page, yet I can't let it go.  My girls are no longer babies, and can all sleep through the night.  Mornings can be intentional again.  Scripture memory may not happen on daily walks, but it can happen in the dark hours of the morning, in the bathroom while fixing hair, or at a stoplight.  I have lacked greatly in this area.  

I was challenged this week by this story concerning a debate between a university professor and a coal miner in South Wales. The debate concerned the subject of the reliability of the Bible. The professor presented his arguments against the Bible clearly and in such a way that there seemed no hope for the miner.  Yet the miner began his reply with prayer, "Lord, I have not had much education, but You know that I love Your Word and have spent my life searching its pages.  Help me now to say something that will convince my friends here that Your Word is true."  He then continued over the next hour to quote the appropriate scriptures denouncing the professors arguments without making a single comment.  By scripture alone...

"Your Word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path." Psalm 119:105

"The unfolding of your words gives light; it gives understanding to the simple." Psalm 119:130

"Sanctify them by the truth; Your Word is truth." John 17:17

"For the Word of God is living and active.  Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart." Hebrews 4:12-13

"Christians who do not accept the authority of the Scriptures have no effective weapon with which to overcome Satan.  If we are to conquer Satan in the same way that Jesus conquered him, then we must know the Bible in its entirety.  It is no good saying to the devil:  'The verse I want to use against you is somewhere in the Bible.'  You must quote it to him and quote it precisely." - Selwyn Hughes

May we cry out as Hughes so beautiful wrote:

"O Father, the more I hear, the more I want to hear.  For I was created by Your Word, designed according to Your Word, and I can never remain content until I am indwelt with Your Word. Teach me even more."

    

Words...

In the first hour of light, when my house is still quiet, our littlest and furriest member of the family requires some outside time and I am given a gift.  A gift of remembering how great our creator is.  The sky blazes with color and I'm encouraged by His Spirit to dive into His Word.

  

Word... words... that is my focus this year.  In the past, I've felt the need to focus on "grace," "peace & stillness," and this past year, on "trust."  But after much prayer, "words" stood out as something lacking in my life and something that I desire more and more to be present.

Psalm 19:14 says, "May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer."  My greatest desire is to not only commit that verse to memory, but to live it!

May I be in the Word on a daily basis, putting aside all distractions (aka social media) until I've spent time reading His Words.  I'm really looking forward to reading a new devotional called Every Day with Jesus by Selwyn Hughes focusing on the armor of God.

May I take the time to really read words, in actual books, not just on some screen that looks flashy and takes little time to understand. May my nightstand be filled with new and old books to fill my mind and cause me to ponder and think. 

May the words that I speak be uplifting to others, especially my family.  It's easy to compliment others who you rarely see, but to show our appreciation and admiration to our loved ones, that takes thought and intention.  May my words be full of grace since grace has so undeservedly been given to me.

 

May my words be fewer in quantity, but more in quality.  May there be less words said and more words read.  I long for time to read aloud quality literature to my girls and for them to read to me.

May there be more words written, whether on paper, on the blog, or even in simple notes delivered by mail.  May even the words penned on a daily to-do list be uplifting and inspiring, rather than overbearing and overwhelming.

Ultimately, may the year 2015 be full of words that bring the God of the Word glory.

Choosing to Wait...

I awake, already behind schedule, and my mind starts whirling with all that needs to be done.  What should I do first?  Thankful for enough quietness to hear, the Lord reminds me, "Do this one thing and then after that, you can do another.  But don't worry about all that the day seems to hold."  

Coffee in hand, I choose what I need the most - time with my maker.  He blesses me with this verse, "Wait for the Lord, be strong & take heart and wait for the Lord."  One season of busyness is ending, yet another one is rapidly approaching.

Weeks ago, I felt this same weight of stress laying heavy, but from two different sources in the same day, I was reminded of this verse, "Wait for the Lord; be brave and courageous.  Yes, wait patiently for the Lord."  I couldn't help but smile and savor the words.

When I looked at the previous verse, Psalm 27:13, I was even more encouraged, for the psalmist wrote, "I am still confident of this.  I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living."  Did you catch it?  The land of the living!  So instead of always focusing on the past or what's ahead in the future, I need to find goodness among the land of living, with those who are living around us whether in our homes, our neighborhoods, our work places...  May we be fully present in the upcoming season of busyness.  May we patiently wait for the Lord.  May we open our eyes enough to the beauty all around us and be thankful...

for homeschooling on location or just in the backyard...

for dog walks and baby dolls...

for the love of books...

for days of craziness and days of quiet solitude...

for my daily bread (and oatmeal)...

Loving Leaves and Letting Go...

There are seasons where life never seems to stop.  You struggle to catch your breath, getting ahead seems impossible, and moments disappear before you realize their brevity and beauty.  In ministry, this season is frequent and often a struggle, yet God is so good.  He allows late Saturday afternoons for us all to get away, to intentionally take time to catch those moments, and to stand in awe of His creation  

He is so good in allowing us the privilege of witnessing our second daughter take a step of faith.  Our little middle, who has struggled for years to even talk to others, chose to stand in front of an entire church and profess her faith in our Lord.  We have prayed again and again the verse in Deuteronomy, "Be strong and courageous.  Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you." (31:6)  He is so good!

 

And when the leaves turn and fall, and school work calls to be done, God is good in the raking, the jumping, and even in the arguing of sisters.  Their mama needs reminding again and again to slow down...

- to "wait patiently for the Lord.  Be brave and courageous.  Yes, wait patiently for the Lord." - Psalm 27:14

- to "be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth." - Psalm 46:10

- that it is "not by might, nor by power, but by my spirit," says the Lord. - Zechariah 4:6

"When we make the choice to let go of distraction, perfection, and societal pressure to grasp what really matters, that's when our life although a bit unbalanced and imperfect - tastes sweeter than we could ever imagine." - Rachel Macy Stafford (Hands Free Mama)