Leaving little ones...

Tomorrow, our team of 18 will fly 2,460 miles to Quito, Ecuador for a week of jam-packed VBS, ditch digging, basketball camp, and Lord willing, many one-on-one conversations with people who need to know the love of Jesus.

As of Wednesday, my suitcase contained five t-shirts, a poncho, an umbrella, and a blanket.  Marty is almost completely packed, which is pretty amazing.  It's not that I'm dragging my feet about packing.  I feel like lists are growing like weeds around me.  Lists of what to still buy for Ecuador.  Lists of what to buy for my girls for the week.  Lists of what to do (copy passports, copy coloring sheets to take, refill prescriptions, etc).  Packing lists for us and for the girls.  Lists of what the girls can eat while we are away.  Lists of what medicines they might need.  Like I said.... 

Yet despite the lists, I don't want to look back over this week with regrets.  I want to enjoy the water gun fights and the roasting of marshmallows.  I want to say "yes" to an impromptu tea party for breakfast.  It's definitely been a struggle this week.  I have felt pulled between the need to pack and the desire to spend time with my girls.  Sleep definitely hasn't been the priority that I had hoped, so once again, coffee has become a dear friend of mine.  But on my last day with my girls, I pray that our time will be sweet.  A simple trip to the library and our favorite bakery...  Pizza and movie night with Daddy...  To be completely honest, it almost kills me to leave these sweet faces. I love those little arms wrapping around my neck and catching a glimpse of those toothy grins that find joy in every circumstance.

 

It has definitely been harder than ever before leaving our girls, even though I trust my parents and sisters more than anyone else in the world to care and love on them.  But in order to make things a little easier for all of them (& maybe to ease my conscience a little in leaving them), here are a few things we hope will help while we are away.  

• a gift for each day (I left with my mom gifts for each girl for every day while we are away.  She's going to put them at their spots at breakfast.  They are simple gifts from mini tissue boxes to new water bottles and gardening bags.)
• notes from Marty and I  (Marty and I have divided the days and  have written each of them notes to be read every day.)
• our bedtime songs on an I-pod (I simply recorded several songs I sing to them at bedtime, ones I've sang since their births and our new favorite "The Boat Song" by JJ Heller.  I'll leave this up to my mom whether or not to play these for the girls.  It could help or make things harder.  This is for emergencies.)
• a hidden gift in their suitcases (My parents always did this for me when I went to boarding school.  I could open it as the airplane took off or would sometimes find it when unpacking.  Special memories for me!)
• favorite foods (I've stocked up on all their favorite snack foods and mealtime favorites to help make meals a little easier for my parents.)
• packed all their clothes in ziploc bags for every day of the week (This ensures that things match and underwear is included.)

 We will most likely not be able to communicate much while there due to very little internet connection and high phone prices.  This may be for the best as I usually fall apart talking to my girls when I'm away.  I would so appreciate prayer as I struggle to balance my heart being pulled toward my children and my desire to minister with my husband.  Pray that once we arrive, our focus will be entirely on what God has called us to do in Ecuador.  May any glory or recognition be only given to Him!

Another glimpse from last year when Daddy was away...

To Worry or not to Worry...

"Lord, make me decrease that You may increase and keep me small and humble.  Cause me to embrace that simplest of truths - that all wonder and worship can only grow out of smallness."         - Ann Voskamp

Time is ticking, no faster than usual, but how it does seems so.  Next week, I'll traveling south ...as in South America... with Marty and 16 other students and adults to minister to the people of Quito, Ecuador.  I am scared to smithereens!  I am scared to be in a country that I've never been to before.  I'm scared to be totally unable to understand the language.  (French and Japanese aren't going to work.)  I'm scared to be possibly put in charge of one of the groups while there.  I'm scared to leave my girls for so long. Tears flow spontaneously at least once a day just thinking about it.  

One evening when the thoughts became overwhelming and fear wanted to overtake me, Marty reminded me that fear never comes from the Lord, that I needed "to take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ" (2 Corinthians 10:5).  There are verses after verses encouraging us as believers to not fear, to not be discouraged or anxious.  

On another morning when I was unable to go back to sleep, the worrywarts began to consume my mind, even more so because I wasn't able to write anything down.  But by His grace, the Holy Spirit brought back to mind the verses in Philippians 4, "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God and the peace of God which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."  

"Anything" encompasses a lot!  There are so many important words within these verses, but I want to focus on "thanksgiving."  How thankful I truly am to be given this gift of accompanying my husband on this mission trip!  Over the next 8 days, it will be so easy to allow my eyes and my mind to stray to those worries and fears.  But if I can focus on "thanksgiving," remember the millions of blessings He's already shown and given, then by His grace, God will be glorified through all of this.

Next week, I hope to share how we are handling leaving our girls (in the capable hands of my parents and sisters) for the week.  Some will be ideas my parents did for me as a child going to boarding school as well as some ideas from others.  Tears will most definitely be shed (by me!) over this.

13 years ago...

13 years ago... a twenty year old girl & twenty-two year guy said "I do" and committed to stay faithful to each other in sickness & in health, in good times & bad, till death do they part.  

By God's amazing grace, we are still holding true to that same commitment.  There are days when it hasn't been as easy as others, but the thought of not being together isn't even considered.  There is no one in this world whom I'd rather talk to, vacation with, minister beside, and raise our precious girls with.  Marty Middleton, you changed my life when I met you in 1995.  You have always said that God brought me all the way from Japan to be your wife, but I think He had just as much a part in keeping you in North Carolina rather than moving to New York.  How glad I am!

 Our life together continues to amaze me!  I cannot wait to travel with you to Ecuador next week!  It will by no means be an "anniversary" type trip, but I pray it will bring us closer than ever before.  Thank you for loving me when I've been unlovable, for forgiving me again and again, for being such an incredible father to our girls, and for leading our home in the direction God is leading. 

 Happy Anniversary, Marty!  I love you so very much!

Growing into a young lady...

My dearest Chloe, 

You amaze me more and more every day.  Your beauty shines not only on the outside, but even more so from within.  You are compassionate and thoughtful.  You are an incredible big sister, even when you may not feel like it.  It's been exciting and scary (for me) to watch you grow up so much over the past year.  I love you so much, Chloe!  May your passion for reading point you daily to His Word.  May your excitement for living be contagious to those around you, that they too may find eternal life in Jesus.  May your determination and steadfast spirit lead you on an amazing path for Him.  Happy Birthday, Chloe!

Love always,

Mommy

Summer at the door...

Summer is on our door step.  School books almost complete.  The fever for the pool is high, and little bottoms are having a hard time sitting still.  My sweet girls and I are ready for a break!  This summer will be a little different as it usually is in youth ministry.  Our mission trip to Ecuador, special times with Papa & Nana, Daddy gone to Nashville for a week, a big family vacation in September makes this summer full already. Another school year will be here again before we know it!

As much as I want to laze around every morning and my girls just want to go to the pool every day, I know it will eventually get old and the "b" word (bored) will be heard.  The television could become a frequent babysitter and the summer will be gone.  Last summer I wrote about our summer plans and it turned out to be a great summer.  We didn't accomplish all of our list by any means.  Some of the ideas flopped (crayon melting didn't work for us).  I never found licorice strings to practice our ABC's.  The excuses could go on, but the list isn't what mattered.  What matters is that we had a fun-filled summer, we tried new things, we embraced old summer traditions, and we kept boredom at bay while yet not running around crazy.  

Like a mama bird, I want to provide for my girls another summer they will never forget, that has purpose, yet is full of rest (my greatest desire!).  For me personally, this can't be done spontaneously.  I have to have a plan.  (Notice I'm not saying this is for everyone though.)  Our list framework is based on Remarkable Home's Super Summer Schedule idea (free printable!) I've gleaned from a bunch of brilliantly creative moms through pinterest, blogs, friends, and our old summer favorites that we've enjoyed over the summers.

M- Make Something Mondays

• Make our own bubbles
• Tie-dye shirts with sharpies
• Make & take treats to one who needs a lift
• Homemade ice cream
• Make chalk spray
• Make pom-poms
• DIY canvas art

T- Take a Trip Tuesdays

• Go bowling
• Take a day trip to the beach with daddy
• Visit the zoo
• Pick blueberries at Dr. Young’s Pond Berry Farm
• Find a new park/breakfast
• $1 kid movies
• Farmers Market

W- Wet & Wild Wednesdays

• Invite friends to the pool
• Ft Fisher Aquarium
• Swimming Lessons
• Sprinklers in the backyard

Th- Thinking Thursday

• Study the 50 states
• Visit a museum in Raleigh
• Play post office (mail notes to friends/family)
• Each girl pick out a board game
• Ecuador day (study the country/help mommy get ready)
• Library/Barnes& Noble Reading Program
• Egg Shell Experiment
• Solar Smores
• Star gaze (printable map)

F- Fresh & Fun Fridays

• Go fishing with Daddy
• Camping (backyard or elsewhere?)
• Outdoor movie night
• Teddy bear picnic
• Learn magic tricks & do a magic show
• Visit friends with chickens (Stephanie?)

Other fun ideas:

• PJ run to Sonic after bedtime (listen to this great podcast on this)
• Mani-pedicures at home
• Summer time pictures of each girl (fun for mommy)
• Roast marshmallows
• Visit cousins

I'll go ahead and be real by saying we will not get to accomplish all of these ideas.  The girls may not even want to do some of them, but that's ok because we'll sure have fun trying!

More great ideas from other bloggers:

• Do-It-Yourself Summer Camp by The Power of Moms (great basic schedule for daily summer life as well as a similar weekly schedule to ours.)
• Summer Planning by Inspired to Action (a simple schedule to save your sanity)
• Printable Summer Bucket List by Project Alicia (50 fun ideas)
• 100 things to do this summer by Land of Nod

A Tired Mama Kind of Year....

Seven more days... That's one week.  Well, really one more school week and two days.  Then, we'll officially have a rising fourth grader, first grader, and very busy preschooler in our little home school.  It's been a good year, a long year, and a tired-mama kind of year.  

We have yet to receive Chloe's test results (for school), but I'm slowly learning that we are not homeschooling just for the academics.  Developing a love for learning, a love for each other, and a passion for God are the greatest desires we have for our girls. This is my biggest challenge.  Lesson plans get tedious, the constant questions from three very different minds can cause the gray to appear, but to hear my struggling kindergartener read and say she loves to read makes it worth it all!  

I am tired.  Honestly, I'm ready to wrap up the books and call it a year.  I am ready for a break.  But we have to finish... and finish well!  Our pool is open and the parks are calling to us, but who says we can't take our books to the park or swim after the lessons are completed.  Another school year is almost finished by God's grace!  I do not have the patience of Job (ask my girls) and my momentum wains quickly (ask my husband).  So once again, it is truly and only God's grace and His strength that has gotten us through another year of homeschooling.  

May your week have moments of bare feet and the thrill of throwing rocks in a pond just because you can.  May you choose what you'll regret the least.  May you do less to accomplish more. May you finish well to the end.

To go or not to go...

When addition and subtraction get all mixed up...

When the clothes too small sit in the hallway for a week, collecting dust before finding their way to their labeled bins in the basement...

When the coffee wears off before 10:30 am...

When little miss tutu wants to play 101 questions...

When you face a choice of whether to go or not to go...

Life has a way of flipping upside down, all around, leaving you wondering what's coming next.  I feel as though I'm playing a game of hopscotch, unable to jump on the right numbers, my balance going topsy-turvy.  The past two weeks have been that for me.  Lack of sleep, testing/proctoring, and three nights of ballet/tap left me worn and weary.  Our school year is coming to an end (3 more weeks!!) and how I long to finish well.  

Amid the crazy schedule, I was faced with a big decision for this summer.  To go or not to go... My youth-pastor-husband takes students on mission trips almost every summer.  The last mission trip I went on was five years ago... to Canada... in a van...  I had really felt the Lord leading me to go with him to Ecuador this summer if a spot opened.  Needless to say, that happened.  Within one week, my parents and sister agreed to take care of our precious girls while we are away, my passport was sent off to be renewed, the money was covered for the trip, and I was able to think about going without crying my eyes out.  I am honestly not sure what God has in store for this trip, but I am earnestly praying that it will be amazing.  Not in the sight-seeing or even in what we as a team accomplish, but in what He is going to do!  May lives be changed for eternity!  May my life be changed...

"Good intentions don't lead to a life well-lived; a life well-lived is accomplished when we walk each day in faith, keeping our eyes on Jesus and our hearts inclined to His Word." - Sarah Mae

May your weekend be sweet and full of memories. May you be open to go wherever He leads you whether it's down the street or around the world.

Canada - 2008